Giving Thanks

It's that wonderful time of year again... my FAVORITE holiday: Thanksgiving!!

I have always loved Thanksgiving. I have to admit- that may be partly because it's in the same month as my birthday- and there is a LOT of food involved :)

But, I also love the idea of a holiday with no presents- just love and focusing on family and friends.

This year, my family has a heck of a lot to be thankful for. Let me explain.

A year ago in December, my brother's girlfriend, Haley Waites was rushed to the ER in a very frightening situation.

I remember a few days before, she had mentioned going to the Emergency Room for a bad headache. I remember thinking- that's strange to go to the ER for a headache.

Then a few days later, she was vomiting and had lost feeling in her left side of her body. Her mother thought she was "faking" to get out of going to school. Once they realized that she was really sick, they took her to the ER, and our world quickly began to unravel.

They diagnosed my brother's 17 year old girlfriend with a malignant brain tumor. Inoperable. Only a few months to live.

I remember my cousin calling me and telling me- I just found out from your parents that Haley has cancer. I thought it was a joke. A misunderstanding. Anything. But. Cancer.

If you've ever come close to losing a loved one through sickness, then you know how we felt when we found out that Haley had little hope to live more than a few months.

Paralyzed.

That's really the only word to describe it.

I have never felt anything like it in my entire life, and I swear I will never forget that state of paralysis. Turn on TV. See TV. Feel Nothing. Wonder when Nothing will feel like Something again.

Repeat.

I remember wondering if my life would ever feel normal again, if i would ever be able to just enjoy an evening with Tanner again. Or laugh again.

Needless to say, it was awful. With some miracle of God, we got her in to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. I can't even tell you what my brother was like during that time because I think I've blocked it out.

Within months, a miracle happened. They told us that they didn't think it was a high-grade glioma anymore. They reduced it to low grade and we began to hope. A few more years? Hey, I'll take it.

Then, even more good news. In May, they started to throw out terms like "vascular" and "benign." But, "We still can't be sure."

And finally, release. That's the only way to describe it. Like we had been clenching our teeth for 8 months.. exhale- as we had been holding our breath.

She was cured. "No idea how" and "it's the strangest thing" and "I saw those scans and I KNEW it was cancer" and yes, even the dreaded "it will come back."

But today, Haley lives cancer free. So that, my friends, is what I am thankful for this year. I'm thankful for Haley... and her miracle... I'm mostly thankful for the opportunity to live life wide awake.... to feel that something again.